Our beliefs can empower us or they can hold us back and even cause us to self-sabotage our efforts made toward success.
So how do we know if our beliefs are helping us or holding us back?
In this episode of Recounting Life Lessons, Sione shares a few experiences that helped him identify a limiting belief. He also shares why we hold all the power in being able to reframe those beliefs that are holding us back.
Connect with us via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Instagram @sioneandalana
Ways to listen below:
SIONE: Do you ever find yourself doing things that make absolutely no sense? You know what you want to stop doing. But for some reason, you can’t get yourself to stop doing the very things you keep telling yourself that you need to stop doing. Been there, done that and actually learned a life lesson that helped me understand why we do this and what we can do about it. I’m sharing that very lesson in today’s episode.
SIONE: My very first job came when I was about eight or nine years old. Can you guess what that job was? If you guess delivering newspapers, you’d be correct. Do you remember your first job?
Once a week, my older brother and I would sit in the back seat of our family van with a sliding door opened as my parents drove us from one neighborhood to the next to deliver papers. A pile of the Sun Press papers would be stacked in the center of the van. We actually had to take out the center seats so that we can stack those newspapers. And once we got to our location, we’d jump out of the van with two or three papers in our arms running from house to house, putting that newspaper at the door or in the mailbox. Then we’d run back to the van to refill our arms and go on to the next couple of houses as my mom drove and followed us down the street.
I can still remember sitting on the living room floor, eagerly awaiting to see what my hours of work had earned me. But what I can remember even more was the disappointment I felt as a hand pushed two quarters in my direction. 50 cents, 50 cents! That’s it! All that work and I could maybe buy four pieces of small candy or small snacks from the Manapua man.
It was then that I started to build the belief that making money required a lot of work.
Fast forward a couple of years to when I was 10. By this time, we had quit suppressed because we didn’t feel like it was worth our time. I had a friend who lived in our valley and had mentioned that the newspaper company that he was delivering for was looking to hire new delivery boys.
After my last experience, I wanted to get all the details. I especially wanted to make sure I was going to make more than a measly 50 cents a month.
“How often would the deliveries be,” I asked.
“Every day,” he replied.
Okay, so not just once a week, like the last time.
“And how much do you get paid,” I asked.
Nonchalantly, he responded, “I can make up to $300 a month.”
“What!” I thought.
Even 100 bucks would be big money for me. And so I became a newspaper boy with my own paper out for the Honolulu Star Bulletin.
One Saturday, while home alone during my time as a paper boy, I was laying on the floor in the living room watching a movie. It was after a Pop Warner Football game and I was super tired. And as I was laying there, I realized that I was hungry. It was then that it dawned on me, hey, I’ve got some money.
So I picked up the phone and called Pizza Hut and ordered myself a medium sized pepperoni pizza to be delivered. I was an adult now. Or at least that’s what I felt like as I sat there eating this pizza that I had ordered and paid for all by myself. I even tipped the delivery person.
At that moment, I adopted the belief that having money didn’t just buy me stuff, it also gave me more independence.
So why am I sharing these stories from my past as a newspaper boy?
It’s to illustrate a lesson that I have come to learn the more I work with individuals on their personal finances. And that is, our beliefs about money come from our earliest experiences with it. And the same could be said about almost all other beliefs in our lives; that they come from our earliest experiences.
Some of these beliefs are helpful and empowering whereas others can actually hold us back and cause us to self sabotage our efforts to succeed.
A couple of years ago, Alana and I noticed that I kept breaking my own rules when trading in the foreign currency market. I do it every time I made a decent amount of money in a short amount of time. It made absolutely no sense. Why did I keep doing that?
Alana helped me realize that it was because of that belief that I had adopted as a young paper boy, the belief that told me making money was hard and required a lot of work. The trading I had done to make money conflicted with that belief because it didn’t actually require much work other than looking for trades that fit within my rules and clicking a mouse on my computer. And instead of adopting a new belief, since I was acting on autopilot, I sabotaged my efforts enough times, so that my reality matched up with that belief. To my brain that required less effort.
In the Psychology Today article, we’re wired to take the path of least resistance. Caroline Beaton shared that, quote, the amount of effort required to do something influences what we think we see. We’re biased towards perceiving anything challenging to be less appealing. End quote.
I realized I was doing this. I had to reframe my belief about money into one that was more empowering and helpful, like this one:
Sometimes, making money requires a lot of hard work, but sometimes it doesn’t.
Another helpful and empowering reframe:
The right tools, skills, or education can make it easy to make money.
Here’s the life lesson: Sometimes our beliefs hold us back., but because we were the ones who adopted them in the first place, we are also the ones who can eliminate or change these beliefs, or even create new beliefs.
OUTRO: Life can be an amazing teacher, if we’re paying attention. The opportunities for learning and growth are infinite just like each of our potentials. But its potential is only as powerful as its application. So here’s one last thing before we go…
SIONE: Our beliefs shape our realities. Sometimes they even cause us to do things that aren’t helping us, but we don’t realize it until after the fact. Once we take responsibility for adopting those beliefs, we give ourselves the power to change or eliminate the ones that are no longer serving us.
Take inventory of some of your current beliefs around money or wealth. Are there any that might need some re-framing? Alana and I would be happy to help you discover some of your beliefs around money and wealth.
Reach out to us on Instagram @sioneandalana or send us an email at email@example.com if you’d like to dive deeper into the re-framing of your money paradigms.
Who knows what lessons this week’s adventures will teach us. Until next time.
Ways to apply this lesson:
Want to practice applying this lesson in your life? Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Take inventory of the beliefs you have around a specific area in your life (ie. money, health, success, relationships)
- For each belief, ask yourself, “Is this belief helping me achieve my goals or is it holding me back?”
- If it’s holding you back, reframe it into something still true to you but more helpful and empowering.
Share any additional ideas of how you plan to practice applying the principles shared in the lesson.
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